Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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