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i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
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