atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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