An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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