I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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