pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize