filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize