he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize