he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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