tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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