id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
two words: eviction party
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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