so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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