they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize