It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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