I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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