come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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