I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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