im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think i have two assholes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize