Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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