I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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