no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
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but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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