That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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