I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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