I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize