hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We have started to decorate penises.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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