I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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