great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize