they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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