Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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