ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize