And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize