Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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