wanna go halves on a baby?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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