I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She even gives head with a lisp.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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