He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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