well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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