some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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