So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We were destined to go to rehab together
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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