i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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