someone get that fucking seahorse.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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