i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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