too bad you live with your parents still
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
false alarm, still single
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize