peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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