You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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