If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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