Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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