I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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