hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize