I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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