My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize