It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
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i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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