This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
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My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize