i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize